Happy Couples--Married or in a love relationship

Happy Couples--Married or in a love relationship

In my work, I meet many people, it is these people, who open their hearts with their problems, the most common problems being the ‘relationship problems’ whether marital or otherwise, and in the process teach me a priceless lesson too. Although, I sincerely hope you are enjoying a healthy happy relationship, and if your relationships are all stars, rainbows and butterflies right now, and you are in a happy mode, consider yourself lucky, let this blog provide some good food for thought to sustain but if you are going through some relationship stress (as we all do sometimes), chances are the problem can be traced back to one or a few causes. 

The tips below may come in handy…

1. “Expectations” about how someone should be.

“A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and at the right place, and when we expect nothing in return” – The Bhagvada Gita, Hindu Scripture.

How should your partner look like??--Angeline Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Hrithik Roshan, Brad Pitt, mmm…but of course, you don’t give looks too much importance, you expect your partner to be a nice human being, right??? The biggest disappointments in life and in relationships are the result of misplaced expectations. Unrealistic expectations of how someone should be or how a relationship should be can be a source of unnecessary frustration in life. By nature, while manufacturing, there is a flaw in ALL of us, ( we never think this about ourselves though), we are all a work in progress. Truthfully, the less you expect from someone you care about, the happier your relationship with them will be.  Expectations can be one of the biggest reason of fall in a relationship. No one in our lives will act exactly as you wish, hope or expect them to, ever, believe it this is true. They are different from ‘you’ and will not understand or respond like you expect them to.

2. Self-Transformation

Truly, the only control we have in this world is the power over ourselves, and the only thing we can do is- ‘self-transformation’. Don’t control relationships, how your loved ones should or should not live, is their life, allow them to make their own mistakes and their own decisions. Life is much too short, so why waste? If you want to enjoy happy relationship, start by living a life that makes you happy and if you to eliminate suffering in a relationship, start by eliminating the negative parts of yourself. Supposing, you are in a difficult marriage or love relationship, sometimes you have to be kind to someone. It takes some courage, though. You never lose by loving but you may lose by holding back. Do not underestimate the power of a smile, a kind word, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn life happy. Remember, even the healthiest relationships have unhappy moments or situations. Instead of constantly looking for signs of what’s not working in your relationship, what you need to do is look for signs of what is actually working. So, before you move forward in life away from someone you love dearly, make sure, you have done enough—self-transformation. Being too right about the quality and health of a relationship spells trouble. Of course, failed relationships hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t appreciate and respect you, no matter what you do, is actually a life lesson.  Some people come into your life temporarily simply to teach you something and they come and go but in the process make a difference. 

 3. Good relationships are easy or destined?

Good marriage or happy love relationships, even for that matter friend, are never easy but require sacrifice, adjustments and compromise, a lot of it. Accept the fact that there will always be difficult moments, as relationships require lot of effort and patience but you can still focus on the Good.  

4. Lack of communications

Great communication is the key to a great relationship. If you have deep discontent or resentment at heart, you must communicate, talk it out, rather than letting the discontentment grow.  If you are feeling angry, may be jealous, you must communicate in an open honest manner and address issues and must get them out of your head and into the open so you and your loved one can work it out.

5. Lies, may be little small lies

There is perhaps no phenomenon that is more destructive to a relationship than telling lies, however small or little, seemingly innocent, lies eventually snowball into larger issues and add up. If you will lie to the people around you, not only will you hurt and deceive them, you will also hurt and deceive yourself – you will forget your own truth. Initially, telling truth and only truth will seem difficult but later on in life, whatever you will say will BECOME TRUTH, yes your words will become prophetic, amazing na. Lies destroy trust, the most important cementing factor in marriage and love relationship.

Okay, so I have written 5 points above for happy and loving relationship, but you may share your views and experiences too. I think, it takes commitment and lot of effort to sustain a relationship and healthy relationships are great accomplishments in life. Whatsay???